The Test of Solitude

He (Elijah) said, “I have been very jealous for the LORD, the God of hosts. For the people of Israel have forsaken your covenant, thrown down your altars, and killed your prophets with the sword, and I, even I only, am left, and they seek my life, to take it away.”
… “Yet I (the Lord) will leave seven thousand in Israel, all the knees that have not bowed to Baal, and every mouth that has not kissed him.”
1 Kings 19:14, 18 (ESV)

There must come a time in every man’s life, if he would continue to walk in the approval of God, that he realizes himself not to be the primary target of the devil, nor the sole barometer of the spiritual progress of other men; and that he likely does not perceive the secret devices of God’s true workings in others. And by degrees he must conyinually be reminded of this again and again.

He must indeed learn to walk in solitude and in the rejection of others; but this is for him to learn the trusting of God above all – it is not for him to merely become full of mere evil suspicion against his brother.

The man who lives vicariously through God’s past humbling of him, and thereby does not continue to humble himself today, deludes himself; and may quickly become as much a well of poison as he is a spring of living water to others.

The one who has become puffed up in his spiritual solitude will often predict that others will soon begin to avoid him due to his piety, his spiritual knowledge, or his comparative closeness to God; failing to see that this prediction is often only fulfilled because neither the wise nor many of the simple will long endure such a monster of pride, nor waste any time in vainly reasoning with him about it.

He will begin to manufacture his own rejection: for it is at the cost of others rather than himself. He will begin to think of his life as being quite representative of the rejection of Jesus by His own disciples, without having ever yet loved his own friends as Christ did.

And as those who loved him drift away, he will continue to spin his web of self-delusion, feigning humility, taking the weak-minded and gullible along with him. Therefore he warns agains the wise who warn him, and flatters the fools who flatter him.

He will have a secret kingdom all to himself, in which he is secretly the king over his domain of influence. The most unpardonable sin in his eyes is for another to take him less seriously than he takes himself.

(If only we could all see just how spiritually awake and correct he is: then we would all truly understand…)

The only way that such a man may exit this cycle of self-deception is honesty without bounds, without excuses, without agendas, and most importantly, without any regard for the self-image that has been built upon the sands of his completely undeserved martyr complex.

The man who becomes proud rather than humble in the midst of spiritual solitude has wrongly looked not unto Christ, but rather unto others, whom he despises, in order to confirm his delusions of grandeur.

Love… does not take into account a wrong suffered,
1 Corinthians 13:5 (NASB)

At my first defense no one came to stand by me, but all deserted me. May it not be charged against them!
2 Timothy 4:16 (ESV)

Gregory of Nyssa – Quote on Running The Race

“For in the same way that the start of death is the end of life, so too ceasing from the contest of virtue marks the start of the course of wickedness.”

– Gregory of Nyssa [A.D. 335-395]


Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead…

Philippians 3:13 (NKJV)


Poem – Let The Mockers Grin

My mouth is shut, my pen is dry.
The air lies still ‘neath darkened sky.
The ground is cracked, yet will not drink.
It cursed itself to ever shrink.

There is no ear I’ve not beseeched,
Which God has summoned me to reach.
Yet words I spoke were heard as wind;
And echoed back as mockers grinned.

I know that this He promised me,
How in this world these things would be.
So let not any reader fear,
Except in how they see and hear.

For now it is made manifest
How many fail His every test.
And those that now His anger sense.
Are praying for His recompense.

Beware lest any man now say
That I have left behind the Day,
To write such sore and woeful verse
– As though it were to them a curse.

For of these seasons I do glean
A tempered soul, by men unseen;
To set my face like flint through pain
That in the coming storm, Christ reign.

And on the other side, now dim,
The curtain of these rainclouds grim
Will open up to days so bright
Our eyes will know our faith as sight.

Therefore, let the mockers grin,
It is not I who bears their sin;
But He who sees will not delay
To strike the wicked where they lay.

– Brendan


And Jesus said to him, “Follow me, and leave the dead to bury their own dead.”

Matthew 8:22 (ESV)

Neglect It Not: Intercession

Neglect not the gift that is in thee…
1 Timothy 4:14

Being that each of God’s own is gifted for and called to a specific purpose, to neglect exercising said giftings and callings is in large part to neglect one’s walk with God. To neglect a known spiritual gifting is to deny the Lord’s goodness, and to neglect a known calling is to walk without faith.

The giftings and callings of God are irrevocable (Rom 11:29), and they carry with them great necessity to be continually walked in; so great that, if once their fruits have been even a little tasted, yet then they are not exercised, their knowledge haunts and condemns in heart the one to whom they are given: and though he still walk with God somewhat, he renders himself a less honorable servant, and knows it.

And this is especially the case with the man who is called particularly to intercession (in prayer and/or in deed); for the nature of his gifts and calling are a burden in themselves: therefore the neglecting of them amidst the bitterness of this earthly life is double the burden – and that without the assurance of hope or any inward joy.

This more than any other spiritual calling is to be likened to the laboring of childbirth: the child must be born, if it is not already concieved. The inward secret cry of the one whom the Lord has so burdened ever cries with Rachel, “Give me children, or else I die!” (Genesis 30). And the heart which has learned purity of intercession does not seek to fulfill its desire according to the flesh, as Rachel did at first; but rather persists for the heavenly gift as Hannah did, and likewise dedicates the fruit of its victory to the Lord (1Samuel 1).

Intercession is the most blessed calling of the whole of Christ’s body on behalf of its every member. It is for some members to bear in heavier ways than others; but it is still to a degree for all, in the simplicity of the giving of oneself for the good of another.

For I want you to know what a great conflict [Gk. ἀγών: “race, contest, agony”] I have for you…
Colossians 2:1 (NKJV)

For to you it has been granted on behalf of Christ, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His sake, having the same conflict [Gk. ἀγών] which you saw in me and now hear is in me.
Philippians 1:29-31 (NKJV)

Alpha & Omega

“I am the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end.”
Revelation 22:13

Jesus Christ precedes all causes, and exceeds all ends.

Let His revelation determine our reason,
Let His faith determine our knowledge,
Let His hope determine our wisdom,
Let His love determine our life.
For from the least to the greatest, these all proceed from Him; and their end is in Him.

Thought on Devotion

Man tends to operate (without saying it) upon this strange notion that his self-made religion is steadfast, reliable, and eternal; whereas relationships are only turbulent, sporadic, and tenuous. Yet the opposite is true with God. Relationship with God is only as turbulent, sporadic, or as tenuous as we ourselves make it.

He is faithful. What are we?

For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken. On God rests my salvation and my glory; my mighty rock, my refuge is God. Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us. Selah
Psalm 62:5-8